Life as I saw it

I was watching a Netflix special where the comedian tells the audience that he doesn’t know anything about his father’s life before he was born, which made me think; how well do I know my parents, in this matter? And the answer was nothing. I am not even sure of the colour they like. I would definitely fail in a family tag game. After watching that show, I decided that I will try to learn more about my parents and get to know them a little more than I do. Following this path, I asked my mom a bunch of questions like, how she lived when she was 12 years old, any memories she has of her personal life, anything she can share with me before I was born.  I wanted to know everything about her. I hoped that she would share her life with me. But she didn’t. I know it’s not possible to share an entire life’s stories with someone but it would be fascinating to know those stories. My mother asked me why I was enquiring her about these questions and I told her my reason. She told me that, sh...

  My sister once asked me this question, who are you? I couldn’t give her the answer. She gave me time to think about it and as I thought about it, I didn’t know what to answer. Maybe I am a nice (my friends keep telling me that), or selfish ( I want to be but I mostly fail in it) or manipulative (I like the idea of how one can convince others but I am not because I have never done and I don’t know how to do it) or something else. My sister always asks me those kinds of questions that make me uncomfortable because I don’t know the answer to it and I don’t want to because I am doing just fine without it. I know my likes and dislikes, my favourite foods and movies to watch. I am cheerful, goofy, sad and happy, at times. All these things can’t and doesn't define me, then what does? I am not one thing. I know who I am. I am me. I want to quote Taylor swift here: “I will never change but I will never stay the same either.” If I will never remain the same, how can I know who am I...

Happiness What is happiness? Feeling love? Being with the right person at the right time? Doing things you like? I don’t know what happiness is. I once had this feeling of contentment that made me feel, if I die this moment, I won’t be sad or have any regret. At that time, life felt complete. Anything or anyone didn’t tell me that I am complete, I felt it. But it also faded into time as I lived on. Lately, I have been feeling this feeling of disinterest that makes me feel that I am not happy. I think, what would make me happy? I shouldn’t be sad, right? I think for a long time but never come to an answer. Sadness also fades away as time goes. I am 18. Even though, I don’t feel it. I still feel like a young naive girl, who doesn’t know about anything and just likes to play and come back to home, the only place where she is supposed to be and fits right in. Those days of summer, from my childhood, filled with humidity and fun. Those days filled with laughter with my school mates, where l...