Life as I saw it

Hello, you.  Welcome to my world. I will be sharing my life with you, as I saw it.  I hope you learn something too.  I am 18, with brain of 25. I just feel 25 years old even though I recently just turned 18. At some time I just feel like I am not aging, time feels like a frozen pond. Sometimes I feel good about it, no hurricanes, and simple peaceful life. But there are times when I look at people and wonder if I am living way too simple or if I am living at all? But every once in a while, something happens that leaves me restless and those kind of moments are the kind of moments I feel alive, I feel like a girl who can be more than what she thinks of herself.  A lot of my years went by, when I was busy feeling insecure about things that were not worth it. I never needed to be insecure about anything but the people on the TV told me about all of things I was not and somehow I started to feel different than others. What I didn’t know back then was, everybody was conscious about them at t

 I really need to get this out of my system. Last couple of months, have been full of sighs for me. The guilt keeps filling me for something that happened on my birthday. Just as regular birthdays, I invited some of my friends over. We had a blast! We danced, singed and ate good food. One of my friends, stayed for the night because it was dangerous to go back alone at night. I really liked this friend. Whenever we were together, I had this strong urge to kiss him but I could never initiate. One day, when I was at his house, I asked him to kiss me after I replayed the line for 3 hours in my mind. He kissed me on the cheek and I gave him a disappointed look. Noah :  On the lips?( paused for a nanosecond ) My lips are dry now. He came to kiss me. I pulled away saying " no need  ". He started giggling. When I was leaving his house, he said "I will talk to you about it on the phone." I kind of pretended that I ignored what he said while in reality I was so nervous. But h